July 2010
1 post
June 2010
5 posts
March 2010
1 post
1 tag
A poor uni student like me should not be given the keys, codes and safe combination to a supermarket that does tens of thousands of dollars in sales each day. It’s just cruel to have potential access to that kind of money!
June 2009
2 posts
May 2009
4 posts
April 2009
5 posts
March 2009
1 post
August 2008
11 posts
Do you remember that kid that had sex with his high school teacher? I was...
– Zach Galifianakis (via inky)
juliaallison:
The best lip dub I’ve ever seen.
Yeah, you already know you're a procrastinator--...
saramcpherson:
I. Relaxed Procrastinators
“The relaxed type of procrastinators view their responsibilities negatively and avoid them by directing energy into other tasks. It is common, for example, for relaxed type procrastinating children to abandon schoolwork but not their social lives. Students often see projects as a whole rather than breaking them into smaller parts. This type of...
I want to hang a map of the world in my house then I’m gonna put pins into all...
– Mitch Hedberg (via merkin)
July 2008
11 posts
My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them
– Mitch Hedberg (via tmblg)
Ode To Joy by Beaker
Roadtrip Dialogue #1
Daniel: Fosh has been really, disvocal the whole trip.
Adrian: You mean quiet?
Daniel: Nah, he's been really, uh, unvocal.
Adrian: Yeah, quiet!
Daniel: Nah, I'm sticking with my one!
Adrian: You should really check your, um, synonym book.
Adrian: Oh... Oh God!
ALL: Laughter
June 2008
28 posts
Literature in 3 lines or less →
1984
WINSTON: Don’t tell the Party, but sex is way better than totalitarianism.
EVERYONE: Surprise! We’re the Party.
WINSTON: Oh, rats.
via inky
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal... →
KAREN ALLEN: That’s what’s so great about this movie - we can just do whatever the hell we want, because even glaringly obvious flaws like that are dwarfed by the sheer magnitude of failure that is the rest of the movie.
To illustrate this, SHIA LEBEOUF flies up into the FUCKING JUNGLE and swings like FUCKING TARZAN along the FUCKING VINES with a FUCKING ARMY of CGI FUCKING MONKEYS. That actually...